


Feeling Alive

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Series: A Million Lights [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Backstory, Bisexual Female Character, Character Development, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Hyperion Heights, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mild Language, Non-Graphic Violence, Panic Attacks, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Underage, Physical Abuse, Shmoop, Swearing, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Threesome - F/F/M, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-05 04:17:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13379988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: A night of shots and a variation on "Never Have I Ever" and "Truth or Dare" with Mal and Rob reveals more about Roni's past than either of them ever imagined.





	1. Roni realizes she's bisexual

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: Canon divergent AU of S7 where Robin didn't actually die and both he and Maleficent come to Hyperion Heights in the curse.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Oh look! More fic on my favorite triad! And I _FINALLY_ got a 'verse name: A Million Lights. It's based on a song and album by Michael W. Smith. In fact the title of this fic is from that song, too. I'd like to say that there are some aspects of this fic that are based on RL. Packy is a real person I knew, RMS a real business dealing with thoroughbred horses, the farm where Daniel and Roni work is one I was at a lot several years ago, and Flora a real thoroughbred broodmare that I got to meet at that same farm. She was huge btw, especially when she was pregnant. LOL! And yes, I slid in a bit of Snow Queen because I could. There's a point to it, just trust me here. For the record? I listened to "A Million Lights" 53 times in a row while writing chapter 1. When the muses and I get obsessed, we get obsessed, okay?
> 
> A quick note re: Roni's background. Normally, I have Regina "born" in 1976 to make her 35 in S1 of the series. But I see Regina/Roni as being around 45 in S7 [aka 2017, per Adam], so adjusted to have her born in 1972, so she'd turn 16 in 1988.
> 
> There are also some notes on each individual chapter. Please read and heed them.
> 
> ...more coming as the story continues...

Shot glasses are refilled with Mal's preferred Cabo Wabo, and I note that the bottle's nearly empty. Before the thought fully forms in my head, Mal grabs the bottle and tips it up over her open mouth, letting the amber liquid splash almost unerringly into her mouth. The fact that any of it missed her mouth means she's finally starting to get intoxicated. As Rob leans over to drag his tongue up the length of her neck to her lips, I realize maybe she just wants a kiss. It doesn't last long, surprisingly enough, and they turn as one to study my face. It would be creepy and uncomfortable if I didn't love and trust them with my life.

"Okay, kitten," she says with a lazy drawl, "your turn. How soon after high school did you get your own place? I'm going with right after college. Rob?"

He smiles and tilts his head to the side as he studies my face. "Midway through freshman year in college because she hated dorm life."

"I was sixteen when I was officially out on my own. Well, fifteen actually." 

They both stare at me for a long silent moment before the questions come, overlapping each other. Their confusion and outrage match perfectly, but still they seem to want to outdo each other. Their jockeying for my favor still amuses and warms my heart, despite the current choice of topic.

"Are you serious? Why?"

"Bloody hell, love! What happened?"

What happened indeed?

"Okay, let me lay down the background first. There are things you need to know before you get to how I came to be on my own so soon."

*****

{Enumclaw, WA ~ May 1988}

"Hey, Roni? Can I get some help over here?"

Glancing up from the stall I've been cleaning, I can't help but smile when Daniel calls for my assistance. Any chance I get to spend with him is worth whatever hassle is about to be dealt with. As long as Mother doesn't find out, that is. She already hates that I even have this job, but doesn't want to pay for the riding lessons she claims I need. This is my compromise with her. Spreading the last of the fresh peat, I set aside my rake to go over to the stall he's in.

Daniel is everything I've ever dreamed of having in a boyfriend. He's kind and hardworking, just like Daddy is. He loves horses -- all animals really -- so much, I think he would become one if such a thing was possible. He's almost eighteen and is already one of the top trainers here at RMS. He's one of Packy's favorites among the staff, though everyone knows that Packy loves everyone here. If he or the horses don't like you, you don't stick around for long, no matter how good you may be at your job. I'm still relatively new here, so I'm stuck with a lot of the scutwork, but I don't mind. I did it with Daddy at our farm, so why would it bother me here? Plus, it helps to look industrious for Daniel. He has a lot of pull with Packy and I'd really like to stay on here for as long as possible.

Shaking my head slightly to clear my thoughts, I stop in front of the stall and smile innocently at Daniel. "What can I do to help?"

"I'm supposed to be helping a new student with her first lesson, but I'm kind of up to my eyeballs in dealing with Flora and her foal. Do you think you could go out and walk her through the basics of what the lessons are like here?" The shock must register on my face as he chuckles. "You know you can do it, Roni. You've helped me with all of the kids' classes this past year."

"Yeah, but helping with a kids' class is different from actually teaching my own lessons, Daniel. I'm not even a trainer. I'm a simple stable girl here at RMS."

He turns to fully face me, and I lose myself in those sky blue eyes of his. That is, until Flora decides she needs some attention and jams her muzzle against my left breast. It stings, but it's nothing unusual from this beautiful broodmare.

"You're more than that, and you know it," he says with a gentle smile, dropping a couple of sugar cubes in my hand. "You're still working your way up the ladder here. Besides, Packy himself suggested you to me when he saw how things were going with Flora."

" _Packy_ suggested me? No pressure!"

"Just relax, Roni. Packy sees what your dad and I both already do. Just go on outside and do the lesson. It's literally a first lesson for a girl with her first horse. Her name is Ingrid. She's the blonde with the sorrel gelding. Her dad is friends with Packy and your dad. You may even know her already."

"Ingrid?" My brows furrow at the name and description. "You don't mean Ingrid Fisher, do you?" When he nods, I laugh. "I haven't seen her in years! Not since her folks… _Oh._ Yeah, okay, I can definitely help her."

"That's my girl," he says and leans in to press a quick, gentle kiss to my lips. "Go catch up and show Ingrid how RMS treats its clients and their horses."

Heading outside, my head is buzzing with the praise from both Daniel _and_ Packy, plus the memories of a childhood with the girl I'm about to be reunited with for the first time in nearly six years. I spot the horse almost immediately and fall in love. Honestly, there's not a horse I don't love, but this handsome boy looks like a penny in the sunlight. Too bad he's a gelding. I bet he'd sire some gorgeous foals with the right mare. 

I can see his owner standing next to him, adjusting his saddle. She got her back to me, but I'd recognize that pale mane of hers anywhere. And then she turns around to stroke the gelding's neck, and I nearly choke on my tongue at how gorgeous she is… and how plain I must look in comparison. This is not the ten-year-old girl I last saw, not by a long shot. She's definitely grown up a lot while she was off on the East Coast with her mom. She glances up at me, curiosity drawing her brows in for a moment before a bright smile lights up her face. Even from this distance, I can see those ice blue eyes that I was always so jealous of growing up.

"Roni? Roni Manzana? Is that really you?"

At the sound of her voice, my whole body reacts and I race across the yard to the practice ring, clambering up over the fence to get closer. She's got her arms open wide by the time I reach her, and I fall into the hug happily. She still has that bubblegum ice cream smell, but there are notes of lavender and something spicy now. The combination has my mouth watering, but I have no idea why.

"I can't believe you're here! When did you get back?" Her horse whinnies softly, pulling us apart. For the first time in my life, I may not like a horse as she pets him again. When he noses at my hand, I remember the sugar cubes and laugh, pulling my arm back. "You can't just demand treats of a total stranger, sir. We must be properly introduced first."

This makes Ingrid laugh, making my guts writhe like snakes at the warm sound. The thought of not hearing her laughter on a regular basis makes me feel queasy, but I try to push that away. This is my childhood best friend, for God's sake!

"Roni, I'd like you to meet Zultan. Daddy bought him for me on my return. Mom's not pleased, but she did shit that went against the custody arrangements when they got divorced, so I'm home for good again. I was supposed to get a horse back in the divorce, but that didn't happen for some reason."

I blink at the casual swearing, but I kind of like it. Ingrid never did anything like that before she moved, but I guess this means we have a lot to catch up on. I hold out my hand with one of the sugar cubes in my palm, giggling as Zultan's lips tickle my skin in his effort to get the sweet treat.

"It's nice to meet you, Zultan. I've known your owner most of my life. We were best friends before she moved away" -- I glance shyly at Ingrid -- "and I hope we can be again."

"There's nothing I want more," she replies softly, and there's something in her tone that gets those snakes writhing in my guts again. She glances over my shoulder, then at her watch. "But we've got time for that later. We should do my lesson now before the hour is up."

There's an implicit promise in her words, even if I don't quite understand what it is, and I know that my life is going to change again in a big way. It kind of feels like when I met Daniel the first time...

*****

{present day}

"So your best friend from childhood became your first girlfriend?" Rob asks softly, hand reaching out to twine with mine.

"She did. We…" I trail off as other memories of Ingrid and Daniel both replay in my mind. "RMS was my first job and where I found my first two loves. We were nearly inseparable that summer, the three of us, and for quite a while afterward."

"Wait!" Mal says with a salacious grin on her face. "Are you telling me that me and Rob aren't your first triad? Roni, you kinky bitch!"

I don't need a mirror or the knowing looks on their faces to know that my cheeks are flushed with more than just good alcohol. "It's not quite what you think, Mal. It's-- It's complicated, okay?" Before she can say anything, I stand up unsteadily. "I gotta go drain the tank. I'll be right back. But you both need to drink because neither of you was right."


	2. Roni comes out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of Roni's story about being out on her own officially at the age of fifteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger warnings for this chapter:** Non-graphic mentions of emotional/psychological and physical child abuse and homophobic behavior.
> 
> Please note that this is NOT a fluffy chapter. It is raw af and needs to be. Future chapters shouldn't be nearly this bad.
> 
> If you're easily triggered by any kind of abuse, please skip the whole flashback scene [everything between the ***** ] and request a summary of it if you need it.

Coming back from the bathroom, I can see that Mal somehow managed to get downstairs, grab two more bottles of Cabo Wabo, as well as the containers of lime wedges and cherries, and make it back upstairs with her stolen bounty. I wasn't even gone all that long. Or was I?

"How in the fuck did you manage to get all of that up here without killing yourself or trashing my bar?" My eyes narrow at her. "You didn't trash my bar, did you, Malinda?"

She scowls, nose wrinkling at my words. "Don't call me that. Your damned bar is just fine."

Rob chuckles and reaches up to tug my hand just hard enough that I topple into his lap. My squeak of protest is swallowed by his languid kiss. It's a blend of tequila, limes, and a smoky mint that is unique to this man that I love. I could happily drown in his kisses and never fight back against death. The sensation of fingers tugging aside the strap of my tank to expose my skin to lips sticking with alcohol and fruit juices pulls part of my attention away from Rob. His hand shifts slightly to let Mal's lips nibble their way up the column of my neck to that spot right behind-- 

" _Fuck!_ " I whine against his lips, desire oozing down my spine to pool in my crotch with each successive suck of Mal's lips on that spot.

Mal growls softly against my skin, pulling a mewl from my lips. Apparently satisfied with that reaction, she leans back to stroke my hair gently. "You need to finish telling your story, kitten. Don't think that a little make out session is gonna get you out of that. Rob, let her up. We all know you're rock hard, but it's gonna wait. Roni can't pussy out on this."

A tiny kiss, including a gentle suck of my bottom lip, is all the answer we get from Rob before he eases back to smile at both of us. She's not wrong about him being hard already. My nipples could probably rival his cock right about now. Damn them both!

"Okay," I say, wincing when my voice cracks on that single word, and my eyes narrow at Mal's self-satisfied smirk. "Where was I?"

"The part where we're not your first triad."

Rob snorts and shakes his head. "You were telling us how you came be out on your own at fifteen."

"Oh yeah, right."

*****

{Enumclaw, WA ~ July 1988}

"Roni? You in here?"

A startled giggle escapes my lips as I pull back sharply from the sweet bubblegum lip gloss that graces Ingrid's lips. Her lesson finished, I was supposed to groom Zultan for her, but she had other plans in mind. She's been gone for the past week at some family thing with her mother. I've missed her so much.

"I'm down here, grooming Zultan," I call back when I know my voice won't betray me. "Do you need me for something, Daniel?"

"No," he says with a chuckle. "But Packy's on his way, so I wanted to give you two a head's up."

"Thank you, D!" Ingrid calls. "I'll make sure Daddy adds a nice tip to your pay this month."

His laughter echoes down the length of the barn. "Roni, make sure you're not wearing any of Ingrid's lip gloss before Packy gets here, okay?"

That nervous giggle of mine makes another appearance as I wipe my face on the inside of my shirt. "Is it all gone?"

Ingrid reaches forward to rub at a spot near my lips with her thumb. "Now it is. It'll be fine, Roni. Nobody knows anything or needs to know until we're ready."

"I know," I reply softly, biting my bottom lip. "But there are some people who will never be ready to know. And that hurts."

The shuffling gait echoing down the corridor alerts us to my boss approaching. Picking up the brush, I resume what I was doing before Ingrid decided her lips needed my attention. She also picks up a brush, echoing my movements, and Zultan whinnies happily at the extra care. I can hear Packy talking to someone, but it takes a moment to realize that's Daddy's voice answering him. My heart begins to pound in my chest, but I fight the urge to panic.

"--doing a very good job. You should be proud of your daughter, Henry."

"That's high praise coming from you, Packy."

"Ahh, here she is! Roni, we were just talking about you. And hello to you, too, Ingrid. Are you keeping that gorgeous gelding properly groomed between lessons?"

"Yes, sir," we reply in sync.

Packy is a sweet old man but he commands respect quietly and demands only one's best. I've never worked so hard for someone and loved every single second of it, bruises and all. Glancing up briefly, I can see the smile on Daddy's face, and my fears ease a little bit.

"You did a good job helping Daniel with Ingrid's lesson today, Roni," he says. "Packy and I were just talking about you possibly taking on some training duties once you're a little older."

If I would look into a mirror, I'm sure I'd laugh at the comically stunned look I know is on my face at those words. "I-- Really? Thank you, Packy! That means a lot to me. I won't let you down, I promise!"

"The day after you turn sixteen, you come talk to me," Packy says with a grin, patting my arm. "I'll work with Daniel and the other trainers to see where we can work you in. Maybe even let you lead one of the kids' classes to see how you do."

"Yes, I'll do that. Thank you again, Packy!"

He starts to shuffle off toward the other end of the barn and the practice rings. Daddy stands there for a moment, watching us, then steps into the stall to offer me a brief hug. "I'm so proud of you, _mija_ ," he whispers in my ear. "I'll see you at dinner. Try not to be late. Your mother's in one of her moods."

"Of course. I should be home long before dinner's ready."

He nods with a smile for both of us, then heads back out to catch up with Packy. Their voices fade away as they head outside to watch whatever lesson is happening. It takes another moment before a burst of nervous laughter bubbles up past my lips. Ingrid joins in and pulls me into a tight hug. I cling to her, still stunned that I'm being given such a huge responsibility. I have no idea what my mother will think when I break the news to her.

"I told you that you're good at this," she says and pulls me into a quick hug that easily shifts into another kiss. This one's slower, sweeter than before, something I can never get enough of from her or Daniel. 

"What in the hell is going on here?"

Just the sound of her voice turns the blood to ice in my veins and I leap away from Ingrid as if burned. I don't want to turn around and face her, but I know I have to sooner or later. Swallowing painfully, I can't even meet Ingrid's eyes, let alone my mother's when I face her. My mouth opens and closes half a dozen times, but no words come out.

"I'm waiting, Roni. Explain yourself."

Ingrid shifts to keep brushing Zultan, who is prancing at the tension in the air, and her arm gently touches my back. I want nothing more than to sink into her arms and pretend this never happened. And then my mother makes it worse.

"You, girl, do you need to be here? I think not. Why don't you go make yourself useful elsewhere and earn your keep?"

"Mama, she doesn't work here." I can't believe those are the first words out of my mouth.

"I know very well who she is, and I'll be making sure that her father knows exactly what happened here. You need to leave now."

"This is my horse's stall, Mrs. Manzana," Ingrid says in a far steadier tone than I can manage. "I do need to be here for him. Plus, Roni is my best friend and she needs me."

"What she needs is less of your perverted influences in her life, Ingrid Fisher. Neither of your parents was very good in raising you to respect your elders, among other things."

"Mama, please," I whisper, tears burning in my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"This is the last straw," she says, continuing her rant as if I haven't spoken at all. And maybe I only imagined those words. "I knew this job was a bad idea, but your father _assured_ me that it would be good for you to learn discipline and a proper work ethic. You will quit your job and--"

"But Packy just gave me a promotion as of my birthday!" The instant the words are out of my mouth, I know them for the mistake they are. Her hand connects sharply with my cheek, my head wrenching to the side from the force of it, and then I'm on my knees in the peat, cradling my cheek. "I'm sorry, Mama, I'll be good." Those words trip from my tongue repeatedly and incomprehensibly as I cry from the pain. Belatedly I taste blood, but can't figure out where it's coming from. Still my mother continues to yell at me and Ingrid both.

The next thing I know, I'm on the couch in Packy's office, the scent of his peppermint candies strong. Daniel's setting a cool cloth on my forehead and softly humming a tune that sounds vaguely familiar, but I can't quite place it. The entire right side of my face feels like it's on fire and my eyes burn. A soft moan is the only sound I can make, nothing of my body taking direction to work for me.

"Roni? You awake?"

"Where am I?" Just speaking hurts both throat and cheek.

"You're in Packy's office. He's out talking to your dad. They're trying to calm your mother down."

Just the mention of her makes me want to cry again, but no tears come. "Ingrid?"

"Her dad came and got her. I promised to call her and tell her how you are. How do you feel?"

"Hurts."

"The pain meds haven't kicked in yet, have they?" When I barely shake my head, he sighs and strokes my left cheek. "You got a nasty cut on your lip. It needed stitches and is probably gonna hurt like a bitch while it heals."

His words bring it all back: the promotion, kissing Ingrid, my mother finding us and exploding, the pain from her slapping me. I raise a tentative hand to touch my mouth, feeling the swelling and butterfly strips over ragged skin and stitches. Before I can ask him anything else, I hear more footsteps.

"Roni? _Mija_ , are you awake?"

"Daddy." It comes out in a pitiful whimper that I'm mortified by, but I can't help it. The tears start to fall when he squeezes my hand as Daniel removes the cloth from over my eyes. "It hurts."

"I know, _mija_ ," he whispers, tears in his eyes. "Look at what she did to you. I'm so sorry, Roni."

"Not your fault. She did this."

"Your mother's gone home, but you are staying here tonight. She…" he trails off with a soft sigh. "She said you're not to return to the house ever again as long as you continue with this rebellion, but I'm going to try to talk her out of that. Packy and Daniel are going to take good care of you. Packy's even calling Ingrid's dad to bring her back to stay with you."

"Daddy, I don't care what Mama says. I don't want to stop and I won't. I love them both."

He pulls me into a gentle hug and kisses my left temple. "I know you do, and there is nothing wrong with you, no matter what she says. I will do everything I can to make this right."

*****

{Present}

"And so, four months before my sixteenth birthday, I was thrown out of my childhood home and living in an RV at the farm. Packy and Daddy made sure that I was taken care of and finished high school and got into college. Mama never spoke to me again after that day. Daddy and Daniel packed up all of my belongings and brought them to the farm."

Without thought, I rub the scar over my lip. I only stop when Rob's fingers gently wrap around my wrist. "That's how you got your scar, isn't it?" he asks softly.

"I thought she'd slapped me. I found out later from Ingrid that she'd backhanded me and one of her rings…" I swallow convulsively at the memory. "Supposedly she said that it was divine justice to make my outside as ugly as my perverted inside was."

"You are _not_ ugly or perverted!" Mal's growl is a comfort and not a shock at all. She has always been so vocal in reminding me of my beauty. "She's lucky she's dead or I'd kill her myself for hurting you like that."

"She knew what she was doing, how much her approval meant to me. But I didn't want to capitulate _again_ , and I paid the ultimate price for it. She kicked me out and refused to let me be emancipated. Daddy forced her to continue supporting me monetarily for whatever Packy couldn't pay me, but she and I never interacted again after that day. Daddy tried in the beginning to get us to reconcile, but it never worked. I am every bit as stubborn as she was. The only time I saw her after that day was at their combined funeral."

"And what of Daniel and Ingrid?"

I shake my head. "Not tonight, Rob, please? I can't talk about this and that, too."

"All right, my love," he whispers and pulls me into a tight hug that Mal joins in on readily. "I think we're done with this game for now, don't you, Mal?"

"We've learned enough to last a lifetime." She presses a gentle kiss over my scar, then rests her forehead against mine. "You are beautiful, you are wonderful, you are loved, and you are _not_ perverted or wrong or anything else that she called you. Kitten, you are the most incredible woman I've ever met. No matter what happened, I'm grateful to Daniel and Ingrid for helping you learn who you are and how your heart loves."

"So am I," Rob replies and rests his forehead against our temples. 

"I love you both so much," I whisper tearfully and cling to them both.


	3. Roni confronts homophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Roni's painful painful coming out story, the family is brought face to face with homophobia and the threat of violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger warnings:** Homophobia, threats of violence, threats of rape
> 
> I honestly wasn't expecting this chapter to get quite as dark as it did there, but that's how it worked out.

Morning comes far too early for comfort. All I want to do is curl up in the puppy pile the three of us fell into and sleep away as much of the day as I can get away with. But we need to pick up Danny from kindergarten and then Mal and I have him while Rob deals with a particularly dickish former client that's trying to sue him for breach of contract. If it was up to me, he'd be dickless, but Rob wants to deal with this properly, so Syl's working while Mal and I keep an eye on Danny for him. There's no use in spending money on childcare when we can take care of it.

Just the thought of Danny's boundless, manic energy is enough to set my teeth on edge this morning. The memories of my mother's abuses still hurt, and the hangover doesn't help matters at all. A gentle hand massages the base of my skull, eliciting a low moan from me.

"You're thinking too loud, love," Rob whispers against my hair. "And you didn't get nearly enough sleep last night."

Part of me, the one that's been out on her own since the age of fifteen, bristles at his words. But the part that loves him and Mal more than anything? She relaxes into his touch, letting his fingers try to soothe away the emotionally-charged headache building behind my eyes.

"Can't sleep." Christ, my voice sounds positively shredded. Maybe it's a good thing that Syl's on today. "Feeling off-kilter."

The bed shifts behind me as Mal snuggles closer and presses sleepy kisses along my spine. "Shh, go back to sleep, kitten. No alarms until Rob's phone goes off to pick up my favorite brownie with extra sugar." Her nickname for Danny brings a chuckle from Rob and me, and a little more of my stress melts away. "That's it," she murmurs against my skin, a hand on my hip. "Just relax and go back to sleep. We've got you. You're safe and you're surrounded by love."

Tears prick my eyes at her words, and I reach down to rest my hand on hers that sits on my hip. "Love you both so much."

"Shh," she whispers, a faint purr in her tone. "We know. Just close your eyes, kitten. We've got you."

*****

"Mal!" Danny's bright sweet voice rises over the cacophony of kindergartners milling about to find their families and busses. That he spots Mal first is no shock to anyone. He's been adorably obsessed with her sunshine hair, as he calls it, practically from day one. "Roni! Papa!" He races toward us, nearly bowling Mal over in his enthusiasm.

"There's my favorite brownie," she says, scooping him up and spinning him around. "But where are your sprinkles?"

Danny giggles and digs in the pocket of his coat to pull out the multicolored bobble hat she'd bought him early on after meeting him. "You put it on me?" he asks, batting those long dark lashes of his like a pro. Mal is a goner when he flashes the dimples at her. Like father, like son.

"How can I put it on you when I'm holding you, my fey boy? I only have two arms."

He turns to look at his father for a moment before his eyes slide to mine. In no time, I am completely snared in his dark gaze and deep dimples. As if on autopilot, I step forward to take the hat from his outstretched hands and settle it over his riot of dark curls. A vague memory of doing this for another young boy, one with lighter brown hair and mossy hazel eyes, hits hard and I gasp softly at the painful pang in my chest. Rob is right behind me, holding me up when my knees buckle at the intensity of the moment, and both Mal and Danny reach forward to pull me closer. 

"We've got you, love," Rob murmurs in my ear, his chest a solid warmth against my back.

"Roni!" Danny's cry is thin and high-pitched, threaded through with fear, and his hands tug lightly at my hair.

Everything grows too loud, too close, too confining. The safety of my loves is all that keeps me grounded as breath is suddenly hard to catch, each attempt a labored gasp burning in my lungs. Their voices are a constant balm to nerves that shouldn't be this frazzled. It takes what feels like an eternity but is likely only a moment or two before I can speak or even look at any of them. Danny's eyes are glassy with unshed tears, and I reach up to cup his cheek, the need to reassure him strong.

"I'm okay, handsome," I say softly and offer him a gentle smile. He shifts in Mal's arms, reaching for me, and I welcome his warm little body against mine, even as I'm still not fully stable on my own feet yet. His father's hands rest solidly on my hips, nose nuzzling in the hair behind my right ear. Danny's head rests on my shoulder as his little arms wrap around my neck, and I repeat my words to him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Mal asks, stepping closer. 

Without thought, I lean up slightly to accept the gentle kiss she drops onto my lips. The sensation of all three of them surrounding me, buffering me from the outside world even for a few moments is what I need. She deepens the kiss slightly, eliciting a soft moan from me. It goes a long way toward easing the panic still racing through my veins.

"Fucking dykes shouldn't be allowed to breed."

Those seven words are like a bucket of ice water washing down over me. All of the comfort and normalcy sluices away in the face of rage building in me. Before either Mal or Rob can react, I push Danny back into Rob's arms and turn to face the man. I vaguely recognize him as the father of one of Danny's friends. Even more, I note that he's a semi-regular in my bar. 

"Excuse me?"

The soft beep behind me is the only indication I have that Mal's pulled out her phone to record this whole encounter. I've never loved her sense of self-preservation more than in this moment.

"You heard me, dyke. You don't deserve a kid unless you have a good dick between your legs. You don't even deserve to l--"

A haze settles over me at his words, they echo in my mother's voice in my head, last night's painful memories still far too close to the surface for my comfort. "Finish that thought, Orvilleson, and it'll be your last." My hand curls into a tight fist and flings out and open at him. Nothing happens, but he looks startled like I was going to hit him. Why the hell didn't I hit him?

"Go to hell, dyke! God hates fags and dykes."

"Watch your mouth! There are children present and they don't need to be subjected to your bullshit rhetoric."

"Fuck you," he says with a laugh. "Next time I see you alone, I'll show you what a real man is like. Maybe I'll even fuck you over your bar while your girlfriend watches, nice and rough like I know you want it, then I'll fuck her, too."

Rob stiffens behind me, but I know he won't do anything with Danny in his arms. Mal growls softly under her breath at this asshole's threats, but this is my fight, not theirs. "If you so much as step foot inside my bar, I'll have the cops on you in a heartbeat. You're nothing but a little boy trying to be a bully, and you don't deserve my time or my energy."

By this time, we've caused enough of a scene and I almost weep with relief as I see the unmarked car pull up to the curb, followed by Rogers and Weaver stepping out. "There a problem here, Roni?" Weaver asks, quirking a brow at us.

It takes a moment of working my throat before I can swallow, but Mal steps closer to him and holds up her phone. "That fucker just threatened to brutally rape me and Roni. I got it all on my phone."

I can't help the dark smile curling up my lips in satisfaction as she plays the video. Orvilleson goes sheet white and turns as if to take off, but Rogers steps up to him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Where you going, mate? I think maybe you should come with us down to the station. Roni, I assume you're pressing charges?"

"You're damned right I am! And I want a restraining order, too."

"That won't be a problem," Weaver says smugly, "particularly with this lovely little video your partner's taken. Are you all able to come down and make your statements?" He then turns to look at the other adults milling about. "In fact, we'll have a couple of uniforms down here in moments to take witness statements. I've a feeling our _friend_ here won't be around for a while."

Before I can answer him, the sound of Danny crying and Rob trying to calm him hits me. Turning toward them, I force myself to show a brave, calm face as I stroke Danny's cheek. "Shh, handsome, it's okay. I'm okay, I promise. We're all okay." He reaches for me, and I don't even hesitate to hold him, comforting him as only I can.

"How about you calm your boy for now and I can stop by the bar to get your statements in an hour or so?" Weaver asks. "Or will you be somewhere else?"

"The bar is fine. I'll tell Syl you're coming. She can point you toward the entrance to the loft. We'll be up there with Danny."

He nods and smiles. "I'll get a couple uniforms to keep an eye on your place for the next few nights." He points to Mal and Rob then. "Your places, too. I get all of the information when I come for the statements. Now, take your boy and your partners home and try to relax as much as possible."

"Thanks, Weaver. Drinks are on me when you're off-shift tonight."


	4. Free Day - Aftermath of the attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The immediate aftermath of the attack on Roni and her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks 
> 
> This one's a little painful again, but worth it for the revelations Roni gets by the end of the chapter. Hopefully this is the last of really heavy shit for the story...

It takes nearly an hour and all three of us to get Danny calmed down enough to take a nap. He still clings to me like a burr over an hour and a half later, and a part of me doesn't want to let go of him. Another part wants a good stiff drink or twelve because I still haven't had the opportunity to bleed off the anger and adrenalin of that standoff with Orvilleson. I'm not even that little boy's mother, but his safety and wellbeing come first for me. It terrifies me sometimes just how caught up I've gotten in him. His father isn't much of a surprise, nor is Mal, for that matter. But ever since Mal and I got so close to adopting that beautiful baby boy so many years ago and having it fall through, I've never let myself get close to kids.

Until Danny…

Danny with his elfin face and his crater-deep dimples and his dark mischievous eyes and his heart that is so open and trusting. My arms ache to hold him when he's nearby. And today, I wanted nothing more than to keep him shielded from the fucking assholes of the world like Orvilleson and his ilk. He'll have questions when he wakes up, I know he will. His little mind is so inquisitive and he soaks up everything like a sponge.

And who the hell was that little boy I saw superimposed over Danny's face in the schoolyard today?

"You should be sleeping, kitten."

Mal's words pull me from my thoughts, and I shake my head. "Can't sleep. If Danny wakes up--"

"If Danny wakes up, either he'll wake you up, or I'll be here for him. And if he sleeps long enough, Rob might be home from his appointment with the lawyers." Mal settles on the bed behind me, gently rubbing her hand along my arm. "You're exhausted, Roni, and you still haven't talked about what happened. That's bound to take a toll."

My eyes close briefly, burning with unshed tears. A tremor of emotion races down my spine, and I fight the urge to clutch Danny to me more tightly. My heart starts to triphammer in my chest again, just like it had with that weird panic attack today before Orvilleson attacked us. I can't do this again. I can't break down _again_ , for fuck's sake! I'm not this weak!

"Shh, it's okay, kitten," Mal whispers, stretching out to mold her body against my back. Her arm wraps around my waist, hand settling low on Danny's back. "I've got you now, you're safe and--"

"I'm not safe," I whisper, horrified that the words escape so easily. "I'm never going to be safe with people like Orvilleson running around."

"He's going to jail, Roni, you know that."

"For how long? And what about when he gets out? Or if he has friends who feel the need to get revenge for what I did today?"

It takes a bit of doing, but I manage to ease free of Danny's Herculean grip and scramble out from the warm safety between him and Mal. My legs tremble under my weight, as if I've run three marathons back to back, but sheer stubborn will keeps me upright and drunkenly pacing. If I focus on staying upright and moving, I don't have to think about what happened, what could still happen.

"Roni, stop," she says softly, suddenly in my path. " _Please_ , kitten? You're not doing anyone any favors by ignoring what happened or by thinking the worst."

"Mal…"

My growl should be a warning to her, but my Mal is every bit as stubborn as I am. And a good half a head taller than me in my bare feet. As usual, Mal doesn't heed my warning and willingly waits for me to come close enough to pull me into a tight embrace. And my traitorous body does just that, more fool me. The steady beat of her heart beneath my cheek goes great lengths to calming my own racing heartbeat. Her hands are a warm weight on my back, lightly calloused fingertips catching at the skin not covered by my tank. She's murmuring something; I can't quite make out the words, but the soft cadence of her voice goes great lengths toward further calming me. And then my body begins to tremble as the tears begin to fall.

And fall.

"Shh, it's okay," she whispers, arms tightening to hold me closer. "I've got you, kitten. You're safe now. Just let it all out."

I don't know how long we stand there, and frankly I'm not sure I care. But Danny continues to sleep deeply, so I take advantage of Mal's unflagging support for as long as I possibly can. No matter what I try to do, the tears won't stop. My throat is raw, my eyes burn, and my breath is ragged, and still the maelstrom of emotions pounds down on me. When a warm body presses in against my back, my first instinct is to stiffen and prepare to fight my way out of this trap, adrenalin pumping through my system all over again. I don't know how much longer I can do this before it kills me.

"Hey, hey, hey. Relax, love. It's just me."

It takes far too long to recognize Rob's voice and that loamy scent that always follows in his wake. My body is wracked with sobs again as I fight off another panic attack. Rob takes a step back, but continues to softly reassure me that I'm okay. Knuckles crack as I force my fingers to release their death grip on Mal's top. I stand there for a minute between them, shaking, before turning to latch onto him much as I have been to Mal. In the space between one breath and the next, his arms surround me and his lips press repeatedly to the top of my head. Mal hovers behind me; I can feel her warmth so close, but am grateful that she's not going to enclose me between them again just yet.

"S-Sorry," I whisper raggedly after a few moments in his arms, reaching blindly behind me for Mal. She takes my hand, lacing our fingers together and steps forward to mold her chest to my back.

"Don't apologize, love. You did nothing wrong."

"I feel so…" What word can describe this sensation? My mind races as each emotion is catalogued and discarded. "Broken," I finally whisper. "Helpless. Small."

"I know, and we're going to help you get past that. We're not going anywhere, Roni. You're stuck with me and Mal and Danny, so you'd better get used to having us around."

Mal chuckles and kisses my shoulder. "If we haven't had a reason to after this long, we're not going to."

"I love you both so much."

"And we love you, too, kitten." She drops another kiss to my skin, lips lingering a little longer than normal. "Do we know when Weaver's coming over to take our statements?"

"I called and left a message on my way home from the attorney's office."

 _Home_. Rob called the bar, the loft, _home_. And Mal doesn't say anything to refute that. Another degree of unease drops away. My breathing starts to ease more, that fight or flight urge slowly abating.

"Roni, are you going to be okay giving a statement?" she asks softly. "Or do we need to call Weaver back to give you some time?"

Shaking my head, I squeeze her hand tightly. "No, let's just get this over with. I'm gonna need to figure out where to get the money to beef up security around here. I know he said he'd arrange extra patrols, but that won't last indefinitely."

"We'll take care of it together, love." Rob brushes his lips against mine when I smile up at him gratefully. "And don't you dare fight either of us about giving you money for the upgrades. We're in this together, no matter what."

"Rob's right. I mean, we practically live here as it is. Let us help to keep our home safe."

Before I can do more than offer a hesitant nod, there's a knock at the door. Weaver's here, and I'm going to have to relive that hell all over again. But if it gets Orvilleson the justice he deserves and keeps my family safe, I'll do it. I know they won't let me bear this alone.


	5. Fave M/F Pairing: Alone Time, Part 1 - Roni and Rob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of the day start catching up to Roni in ways she doesn't expect, including an eye-opening conversation with Danny, and Rob decides she needs to decompress a bit.

By the time Weaver leaves with our statements, Danny has started to stir. He immediately seeks me out, going so far as to push Rob away to get to me. Rob blinks at that, but doesn't try to stop his son. He makes sure the two of us are firmly ensconced on the couch, snuggled under a blanket, to watch _Pete's Dragon_. Danny has an obsession with that movie that surprises me sometimes. Once we're settled, Rob heads into the kitchen to make dinner. Mal heads downstairs to see if Syl needs any help for the happy hour rush.

"Roni?" Danny asks softly when the Gogans first appear in the film.

"Yes, handsome?"

"Why did Tommy's papa say those things to you today? Why was he so mean?"

I don't want to do this, but I know that it's not about what I want right now. Pausing the movie, I shift so that I can meet his curious gaze more directly. "Well, I'm not really sure, Danny, but I think he's jealous of what Mal, your papa, and I have together. Not everyone can be so happy and comfortable with other people like we are."

"But he said naughty words and called you a bad name."

"I know he did, sweetheart, and I know I said some naughty words, too. I already put a whole five dollars in your swear jar for what he and I said, and also for Mal's naughty word." Taking a deep breath, I study his face for a moment before continuing. "You know how some of your friends have a mommy and a daddy, right? And how some of them don't live together because they're divorced?"

"Yeah, but you and Mal and Papa don't always live together. Are you divorced?"

"No, we're not. We just like to have some space that's all our own. Mal lives in the back of her studio, remember? And you and Papa have your apartment by Papa's shop? And I live here over the bar."

"But why? If you love each other, you should live together."

Out of the mouths of babes…

"Well, we do when we can, but we all started living near our jobs before we met each other, and sometimes it's hard for grownups to let go of things like that. But you know that we're usually all together, right?"

"Yeah…" He chews his bottom lip, fingers fidgeting in his lap. "Roni?"

"Yes, handsome?"

"Will you marry Papa and Mal, so you and Mal can be my mamas?"

*****

"I'm gonna head downstairs to help Syl some more," Mal says once we've gotten Danny down for the night in his room. "I have my phone on me. Call if you need me up here, okay?"

"Are you _sure_ she doesn't need m--"

Mal kisses me, cutting off my words. "You are not going down into that bar tonight, Roni. I'll help Syl until Henry and Jacinda show up, then I'm coming back up here for the night with you two." Harrumphing softly, I know she's right and that it's useless to argue with her. She kisses me again and whispers, "I love you, kitten."

"I love you, too, darling."

She smiles and kisses Rob, sharing a quiet moment with him before heading downstairs. I can feel Rob's eyes on me as soon as the door closes. His steps toward me are tentative, and the guilt courses thickly through my veins at the realization.

"Roni?"

At that soft word, I turn and fall into his arms, emotionally and physically wrung out from the last twenty-four hours. I don't think there are any more tears left in me, but I won't stop them if they do fall. He holds me close, nuzzling at my hair, and I take solace in his open affection. After a moment, he shifts and scoops me up into his arms.

"Rob? What are you doing?"

"You and I are going to have a nice soak in the tub," he says, walking toward the bathroom. "Which of your bath salts would you like tonight?"

"The rosemary and mint. I think my head could use it."

He gently sets me down in the bathroom, starting the tub to fill before turning back to help me undress. It's easier to let him do it. And I find myself craving the little kisses that dot each exposed bit of skin. Tank and sports bra go first and easiest. It takes a bit more coaxing than normal for my nipples to respond to his touch, a casualty to this damned day's anxiety. When he kneels in front of me to remove jeans and thong, my hands automatically go to his shoulders for balance. His hands smooth down each of my legs and back up to grip my hips lightly.

"You are one of the two most beautiful women in all of the world, Roni Manzana," he murmurs, chin resting against my belly as he gazes up at me, "and I am the luckiest bastard alive to have you both in my life."

"Rob…" Tears prick in my eyes again.

He smiles then and stands to pour the salts into the water. With his guidance, I step into the water, sinking into its heat with a low moan of relief. "That's my girl," he says, then moves back to quickly strip off his own clothes before joining me. We shift around slightly as he turns off the water, but it's not long before I'm leaning back against his strong chest. His lips find my temple, pressing to my skin for long seconds as his hands rest low on my belly.

"I--" Hating how easily my voice cracks on that one word, I force myself to take a slow, deep breath. "Thank you, my love. You are one of the best things to happen in my life. I don't know what I'd do without you, Mal, and Danny."

His lips curl up in a smile against my skin, arms tightening just the slightest bit. "You know, I heard your conversation with Danny earlier. While I was making dinner, I mean. We've never discussed it, the three of us…"

He's right. "No, we haven't. It's not a legal option for us." Oh, how I wish it was, _especially_ after today's events. "But this is probably a better discussion for the three of us, don't you think?"

"Yes, you're absolutely right, love. I just thought I'd mention that I did hear it and… Well, I'm not sure what else I meant to say about it other than that, I guess. Because Mal does deserve to be part of it. And right now is meant for you and me." His left hand begins to rub gentle circles on my belly, lips pressing kisses everywhere they can reach. After a couple of minutes of this, my mind begins to wander lazily until his words bring me back. "Do you remember when we first met?"

"You practically ran me over trying to stop Danny from darting out into traffic to get his balloon, but I managed to stop him just in time."

Rob chuckles softly. "I didn't run you over, you know. It wasn't my fault you got between us."

"I nearly sprained my ankle from the tumble to the sidewalk with him in my arms, thank you very much." There's no venom in my words now, but I know there was that day.

"I remember you swearing like a longshoreman at me about watching where I'm going, interspersed with calming Danny from his hysterical crying over that balloon. You handled him like only a mother could, up to and including the offer of an ice cream cone to distract him from the balloon."

"Chocolate ice cream with sprinkles in a waffle cone, just like I got, and he ended up wearing more of it than he ate."

"I was so in awe of how sweet you were with him, this virtual stranger. I think he was more smitten with you at first than I was."

That makes me laugh. "I fell for him pretty hard myself, which is how he managed to shark me out of five bucks for his swear jar that first day. Pretty good for a three-year-old."

"You do tend to fill that jar the most. Well, unless Mal's in a mood."

"It took like three dates before you and I could go on one ourselves, and then it felt weird without Danny with us." His hand shifts a little, the circles growing infinitesimally larger, and I moan softly as I settle back against him even more. "That feels good."

"That's the point, love. This is entirely for you." He kisses my temple again. "Have I told you just how proud of you I am? What you did today was brave and possibly reckless, but I'm glad you didn't back down to that bully."

I can feel my body tensing slightly at his words, even as I love his praise. "I don't feel very brave. I'm terrified of everything that's not you, Mal, and Danny. But I couldn't let that fucker say those things in front of Danny or any of those little kids. He can think whatever he wants, but there's no reason to destroy their innocence."

"I know and I love you even more for that." His hands move to my shoulders, massaging slightly. "Do you have any idea how inspiring you are on a daily basis, Roni Manzana? I love that you want to right the wrongs foisted on the underdogs. It's one of the things that made me fall so hard so quickly for you. You and Mal are everything I've ever wanted, singly and together."

"I love you, too, Rob. You and Mal are everything I ever needed, too. Danny's just the icing on the cake of what I always wished for my life."


	6. Fave F/F Pairing: Alone Time, Part 2 - Roni and Mal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rob is called away to sooth Danny, Mal steps in to continue with Roni's decompression.

Somehow Rob works his magic on me and I drift off to sleep in the tub with him, safe and warm in his embrace. I don't know how much time passes before his fingers are insistent on my hip. 

"Roni? Love, wake up. I need to go check on Danny."

Mumbling softly, I shift up into a seated position, shivering slightly as his warmth disappears from behind me. The water is still soothing, and I settle my cheek against my forearms on the side of the tub. "Tell him I love him?"

"Always, love."

And then he's wrapped up in a bath sheet and padding out of the bathroom. The water's growing colder, and I should get out before it undoes all the good already achieved, but just another moment of rest before I do. The faint murmur of Rob's voice wafts down the hallway, further soothing me back into slumber.

"Okay, none of that, kitten."

"Hmm?"

She chuckle softly and strokes my cheek. "Your skin's getting all pruny. Besides, it's time to head to bed. Rob's singing Danny back to sleep and I promised I'd get you dried off and snuggled up under the covers by the time he's done."

"Mm-hmm." The sound of the water starting to gurgle as it sluices down the drain pulls me further from my drowsy haze. As the air hits my wet skin, I start to shiver and move to carefully stand, grateful for Mal's steady grip to balance me. "Fuck, I'm cold."

She chuckles softly and runs a soft towel over my body, soaking up all of the moisture. "You used the rosemary and mint bath salts, didn't you?" When I nod, she moans softly. "You know that's my favorite."

"Rob asked what I wanted and it was the first one that came to mind. It always clears my mind."

"I know it does," she murmurs, fingers combing through my hair. "Now, kitten, can you walk or do you need some help?"

Adjusting the towel around my body, I smile lazily at her. "There's a wall the whole way to the bedroom. I got this." Leaning in to kiss her, just needing the reassurance that she's here with me, I sway and stumble into her body with a giggle. "Okay, maybe I could use a little help."

Mal's arm wraps around my waist and I melt against her warmth. We don't even take a step before she scoops me up in her arms and heads for the bed. My head falls to her shoulder with a soft sigh, eyes drifting shut again. "I'm going to give you a massage when we hit the bedroom, kitten. I know you had a lovely soak in the tub with Rob, but I can feel that you're still holding in some tension from today."

"That sounds so good."

Stepping into the bedroom, Mal settles me on the bed. I drop the towel as I shuffle to the middle of the bed, my favorite spot when we're all together. It takes a moment to stretch out on my stomach, cheek resting on my crossed forearms again. I can hear Mal puttering around behind me. The sounds are comforting, familiar, and I relax further into my decadent bed. The mattress dips as Mal joins me and straddles my hips. A cold burst of lotion lands on my back, making me squeal in surprise.

"Sorry, kitten, I misjudged how much would come out in my hand." As her words hit, the scent of rosemary and mint wafts up to my nose. "Now, just relax and let me do this. If you fall asleep, that's totally fine. This is supposed to make you feel better, more at ease than you were earlier."

"Love you." 

The words ooze from my mouth on a low sigh, eyes fluttering shut once again as her warm, lotion-slicked hands settle on my shoulders. She always feels just that tiniest bit warmer than most of the people I know, but this is different tonight. Her fingers press into my muscles, finding knots I didn't even know I had. Nothing escapes the sensitive touch of her callused fingers. I will never understand how she can do so much work with her hands and they still remain so unaffected.

"Mal?" I mumble eventually, then groan as she presses down on a particularly tight spot that's been plaguing me for a couple of weeks now. "Fuck, that hurts!"

"Just keep breathing, kitten, and don't tense up. I'll get this worked out in no time." My soft moan makes her laugh, but she stays true to her word, not letting up until I whimper as the knot _finally_ unravels itself. "There we go. I knew it couldn't outlast me." She leans in to brush her lips over that spot. "What were you going to ask me before I had that little run-in with your back?"

"Hmm?"

She chuckles and repeats her question, hands still moving across the terrain of my back. It feels so good, I just want to sink further in this mattress and pass out for the next week. A moment or two passes before I can speak.

"How long have we been together?"

She chuckles again and shifts against my body. The heels of her hands press down on either side of my spine, from the base of my neck to the rise of my ass. Each touch makes me moan softly and relax even more. "If you can't remember how long we've been together, kitten, then we're in big trouble." She coaxes my left arm out from under my cheek, working her fingers over it from shoulder to fingertips. "I mean, everybody who's anybody knows you're the brains in this operation. I'm just the fire junkie muscle--"

" _No!_ " I growl, rolling over suddenly enough to throw her off balance. "Don't you _ever_ say that, Malinda Zmaj. You are incredibly intelligent and more than just your job. You are warm, and gentle, and funny as hell, and you make me feel like..." Tears prick in my eyes, the burning sensation becoming almost too familiar after the last twenty-four hours. "You make me feel like I _belong_ , Mal, and that's so much more important than anything else to me."

"Hey, hey, hey." Mal moves to stretch out next to me, pulling me into her arms for a gentle kiss. "I'm sorry, Roni. I didn't mean to upset you. I was just teasing."

"I'm serious, Mal. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for."

She smiles and strokes her hand down my spine to settle in the small of my back. "I know, and I have you to thank for me being so willing to think like you do." She drops a sweet kiss to my lips. "As for your earlier question, I believe it's been about twenty years now, hasn't it? We first met when you were twenty-four?"

"Twenty-one. My last year of college before I spent my inheritance to buy the bar."

"You walked into my shop looking to buy a small horse figurine for someone. A birthday present, I think. By the time you left that day, you'd missed three classes and got the grand tour of my entire lair, including my private living area."

That brings a smile to my face. "I miss that futon you had back then. I felt so safe with you, even when you had me close enough to the furnace to melt my face off." I snuggle into her embrace a little more and sigh happily. "I don't know what I'd do without you in my life, my darling Mal."

"You'd probably be some sort of corporate suit. Or who knows? Maybe you've have stayed on at the horse farm. I know how much you miss the horses, kitten." Shrugging, I start to speak, but a yawn stops me. She kisses my forehead then. "Get some rest now. Rob will be in once he gets Danny settled again."

"How did you know to come get me?"

The warm familiarity of her body against mine, combined with all of the crying and that lovely soak in the tub with Rob, is making consciousness a difficult state to stay in. Danny is just down the hall and Rob will be back soon to sleep with us. Mal's fingers comb through my hair, gently scratching at my scalp.

"Rob sent me a text when he got out of the tub. As luck would have it, Henry and Jacinda had just shown up and were practically kicking me out of the bar anyway, so I hopped on up here and rescued you from the tub that was trying to eat you. And the rest you already know."

"Twenty-four years together and you still make me feel as incredible now as you did in the beginning. Tha--" My words are cut off by a jaw-popping yawn.

Mal chuckles and presses a kiss to my forehead. "You're welcome and I love you. Just sleep now, kitten. I don't want to have to spank you for being naughty."

"No, ma'am." My eyes drift shut, and sleep claims me easily with the help of her steady heartbeat under my ear.


	7. Fave Poly Grouping: Roni gets an offer from Mal and Rob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning dawns with a major change to Roni's life. Will she accept it or let fear win?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only warning here is for some serious shmoop and domesticity.

The insistence of my bladder pulls me from a deep and dreamless sleep. I really don't want to move from my spot nestled between Mal and Rob, but there's no way I'm going to piss my own bed, either. It takes a moment to situate myself and ease Rob's hand off my hip. Thankfully he's not pressed too tightly to my back. Mal's hand on my shoulder blade is a little trickier, but I still manage it and scoot down out of the bed to mince toward the bathroom, not even caring that I'm stark naked and Danny's just down the hall. My bladder will not wait for such trivialities.

Thankfully, Danny remains blissfully unaware in his bed and I can pee in peace. Then I realize that the mess from my bath last night is all cleaned up. The tub's scrubbed out, the towels and discarded clothes in the hamper, and I swear I can smell disinfectant faintly. Rob must have done that before joining Mal and me in bed. Not that I remember him coming in at all.

As I return to the bedroom, the heaviness in my back and shoulders seems to be gone. I owe my loves big time for what they did last night. Maybe a decadent breakfast in bed? No, Danny's here. That'll have to wait for his next sleepover. Stepping into the bedroom, my eyes fall on my loves on the bed. Both are still fast asleep in their same positions. Without hesitation, I climb back between them, turning this time to rest my head on Rob's broad chest. He mumbles slightly, pulling me closer before his hand blindly reaches for Mal. She moves closer, her warmth pressing against my back as her lips seek out the curve of my neck and shoulder. Arms move to touch and connect us again before the domestic bliss pulls me deeper into sleep again. My dreams are filled with my conversation with Danny yesterday afternoon, as well as the tiny bit Rob and I shared last night in the tub.

*****

"Do you think we should wake her?"

"No, let her sleep."

Their voices pull me from the comfortable haze of sleep, but I just lay there for a little longer.

"I'm surprised Danny's not in here yet for breakfast. He's usually up so early, but I think that fucker really upset him yesterday."

Rob shifts, his pecs flexing under my cheek, and his fingers card through my hair. "His nightmare last night was losing you and Roni like he lost Maria. I had to remind him that we're all safe and stronger when we're together."

Tears sting behind my eyelids at his words, making me sniffle softly. Danny's had enough loss in his young life, and shouldn't be thinking about more like that. The sudden need to cuddle him close is overwhelming. Rob must sense that I'm awake.

"Roni? Love, are you okay?"

Taking a deep breath, I nod and press a kiss to his chest before opening my eyes to meet his gentle, worried gaze. "Much better than I would've been without the two of you last night," I reply honestly. He kisses me gently before Mal tilts my head back to do the same. "You're both far too good to me."

"No, we love you and want the best for you, just like you want for us."

"Rob's right," Mal says, pressing her lips to my shoulder. "You're the glue that holds us together, kitten. Hell, you're such a fixture in this neighborhood in general. You look out for everyone else and usually forget to take care of yourself. Which is where we come in."

"You never have to feel alone again, love. Mal and I aren't going anywhere." His eyes raise to look at Mal then, and something passes between them that I can't quite place. "Roni, we've been talking…"

When he doesn't continue, I glance back to see Mal is biting her bottom lip nervously. "Talking about what?" My words are soft, voice husky with those unshed tears, and I can feel my heart start to speed up.

"Hey, no, kitten," she says, cupping my cheek and kissing me gently. "This isn't a bad thing, I swear."

It hurts to swallow past the heart-shaped lump in my throat, and I can't even speak. My chest is tight, lungs too stiff to take in the oxygen I need. And through it all, Mal and Rob keep touching me in such gentle ways.

"Yesterday," Rob says, pulling my attention to his face. "Roni, yesterday you told both of us and Weaver that you don't feel safe now, that you need better security for the building. What if you didn't have to worry about that anymore?"

"I-- What?"

"With as much time as we already spend here, wouldn't it be smarter if Danny and I just move in? Keeping my apartment is stupid and a waste of money that could be better utilized here for our whole family."

Mal smiles and runs a hand down my arm. "And I could live here, too. I don't have an easy apartment to get rid of, considering it's part of my shop and studio, but unless I'm in create or die mode, I hate being there by myself. It feels too big and lonely for me. The shit that happened yesterday reminded me what's important in my life and where I really need to be. So I'd like to move in, too, make this _our_ home. If you'll have me? Have us?"

The ability to speak, to breathe, to do _anything_ but dumbly stare at them is gone, vision going hazy with tears. The things they say, I should be able to connect the dots here and figure out what they mean, but I can't. It's like adding two and two and coming up with puppy.

"Love, please say something. Even if you don't want us moving in permanently. Just _please_ talk to us."

"Y-You want to move in? Both of you? And Danny? Give up the independence of your own places? For _me_?"

Rob nods and smiles broadly. "I'd actually been thinking about it already. Our third anniversary is coming up in a few months, not long after Danny's sixth birthday. The apartment still has so many memories of Maria. It feels weird to be there after spending time with both of you."

"Rob's right. It feels weird to go back to my place. The bed feels too big and empty. And no amount of cats from the feral tribe is going to make me feel like the studio is _home_ again. Roni, you've been in my life for twenty-four years. Neither of us is going to give up our jobs, nor should we, but I want to be where you, and Rob, and Danny are. So what do you say, kitten? Do we make this family thing as official as we can?"

My eyes shoot to Rob's at her words, and he smiles, but shakes his head. "No, love, that was not discussed. We decided it would be the three of us. This is literally about living arrangements only. That is something else entirely."

I lay there for a minute, taking in their words and replaying them with the events of the last day or so. They're both right. Paying for Rob's place, with its attendant ghosts, is stupid. Danny hates having to leave anytime they stay here. And Mal's practically lived here ever since I bought the building in the first place.

"What about nights when you two want to do something without me? Or Mal and I? Or even Rob and I?"

"If it's Rob and me, we'll go to my shop. Same if it's you and me. If you and Rob want a night alone, I go there by myself, or maybe take Danny with me. It's no different than it's been so far, except we won't be using Rob's apartment anymore."

"And honestly? We haven't all stayed there in over a year now."

Nodding slowly, I realize just how obvious the answer is here. "Yes," I finally say with a soft smile. 

"Yes?" Mal asks, eyebrows lifting and eyes sparkling. "Do you mean it?"

"Yes," I say again, my smile growing brighter. "I want you both to live here with me, Danny, too. We've told Danny how many times now that we're a family, so it's time we start living like one, right?"

The only answer I get from either of them is to be crushed between them in a tight hug, kisses peppered all over my face. I do what I can to kiss them back, laughing and crying through it all. We can tell Danny when he wakes up, and deal with his request for me from yesterday then. 

Right now is for me and my loves.


End file.
